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About Me Member Fantasy Writer Triforce-of-Twilight17/Female/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 1 Year
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opinion?

Wed Aug 5, 2009, 11:05 AM
I have a bit of a question. Could you please tell me your opinion on this bit of a my story that I've been writing? It would be a big help if you could tell me what you think. ( I haven't edited grammar at all, so if it's off, you know why)

Whispers buzzed inside my head, softly, as I stared at the ceiling. I do not recall hearing them earlier. Something moved at the corner of my eye and I snapped my head around to see that girl siting quietly in the chair across the small dim room.

"What did you do to me?" I choked out, frightened, hands grasping my head as the noise grew louder, more defiant.

She was quiet, still. But a small smug crooked smile parted her lips, showing her fanged gleaming teeth."I didn't do anything."

One whisper suddenly screeched loudly, "Lies! What are you doing to my mind?" I demanded, the whispers were now growing into audible voices, except the language they spoke I didn't understand. But the tone of their voices was a clear message that I was not going to win.

She tilted back in her chair. "I told you, I'm not doing a thing, just watching," Her voice was calm and cool, her eyes twinkling with with amusement. "Your mind is in disturbia." She giggled happily.


Thank you for your time.

  • Mood: Thanks

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Devious Info

  • Current Residence: Twilight Realm
  • Interests: Drawing, writing, poetry, video games, manga, anime, etc
  • Favourite movie: Van Helsing
  • Favourite band or musician: DragonForce
  • Favourite genre of music: Pop, Metal
  • Favourite style of art: Anime
  • MP3 player of choice: Creative
  • Favourite game: The Legend of Zelda:Twilight Princess
  • Favourite gaming platform: Wii
  • Favourite cartoon character: Link
  • Personal Quote: Never be normal

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Comments


:iconlinktothelegend:
thanks 4 the watch!

--
I accept Jesus Crist as my Savior!

HELLO OFFICER theres a man in a butterfly suit shooting my robot with a LASER!

there is no pleasure in having nothing to do. the fun is having lots to do and not doing it!
:iconmoonlight-zelda:
Hello's. ^_^

Thanks so much for adding me to your watch list, I really appreciate it. ^_^

(PS: Since you faved the very first draft of my first fanfiction, may I suggest my fannovel? Crescent Light Chronicles has much better quality than SvsL, and a far stronger plot with better characters. I hope that you enjoy it if you check it out. ^_^)

--
My alt account, for original based art/lit: ~SeleneHime

My Gallery: [link]
:iconwolfstarsilvestris:
thanks for faving my zelda fanfics first cahpter^^

--
98% of the people who play Zelda, likes the idea of Link & Zelda together. 'HELL YEAH i'm ONE OF THOSE :heart:

Wisdom and Courage are destined to be together :heart:
:iconstephonika-w-kaye:
Thanks for the fave and watch :lol:

--
Twilight Princess Novelization: [link]

For more go to my site: [link]
:iconsilvermillieum:
Thank you for faving Revenge of the Twilight: Never to Return

--
~"Side? I am on nobody's side, for nobody is on my side..."~Treebeard~Lord of the Rings: Two Towers

Proud Member of: ~ShadowTH-Fans and ~Link-n-Midna-Club
:iconnybx4life:
Thanks for the other fave, man:D

--
I hope you guys check out my gallery!!!

I'm part of the ExpansionWriters club, as well as Whispers-Of-Eternity
:iconnybx4life:
Oops, woman^^;

--
I hope you guys check out my gallery!!!

I'm part of the ExpansionWriters club, as well as Whispers-Of-Eternity
:icona-fiery-boom:
A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty,



He said...no.








She asked him if he would want to be with her forever...and he said no.













She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again he replied with a no.













She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said...













You're not pretty you're beautiful.













I don't want to be with you forever, I NEED to be with you forever.













And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die...













SO NOW I WILL SAY:












I like you because of who you are to me...A true friend.












And if I don't get this back I'll take the hint.













Tonight at midnight your true love will realize they like you.











Something good will happen to you at 1:00-4:00 PM tomorrow.











It could be anywhere -- AOL, Yahoo, outside of school, anywhere.











Get ready for the biggest shock of your life.












Please send to 15 people in 15 minutes.












Remember:













"A good friend will come bail you out of jail....











But a true friend will be sitting next to you saying ...












WE screwed up, but we had fun! "












Proud to be your Friend!












Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence, and don't skip ahead.












I've learned...that life is like a roll of toilet paper.











The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.












I've learned...that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.












I've learned...that money doesn't buy class.












I've learned...that it's those small daily

happenings that make life so spectacular.












I've learned...that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.











I've learned...that the Lord didn't do it all in one day.












What makes me think I can?












I've learned...that to ignore the facts does not change the facts.












I've learned.












I've learned...that the less time I have to work, the more things I get done.












To all of you...make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence.










Show your friends how much you care.












Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND, even if it means

sending it back to the person who sent it to you.












If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have

a circle of friends

--
"Writing is our inner screams waiting to be released in ink."

I'm Ayame of ~FurubaCrew!
:iconinuluvr:
^__^ Thanks for the fave!! I really appreciate it!! :heart::hug::glomp:

--
"Bizarre is good! Common has hundreds of explanations. Bizarre has hardly any."
- Dr. House

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